My Humans are back from Bali!

So just to get things up to date, I've spent the last 10 days in misery. Well, it's nice to hang out with my grandparents and all, but they don't pamper me the way my Momma and Pops do. And they definitely don't let me sleep in their bedroom either.

When I smelled my Humans coming through the door, I was so happy that I farted three times in a row! And then pooped twice, but not in row.

It was so wonderful to have them back! I ran around in circles, I pounced on Momma over and over again, and I even occasionally showed my Pops some attention (when Momma insisted). Then they started unpacking, and that's when I noticed something was wrong, and maybe my Humans didn't love me as much as I love them.

Momma... where are my presents?

They didn't buy me anything from Bali.

No snacks, no toys... not anything. I thought maybe that was just a little mistake. But things got worse!

After 10 days away, the first thing my Pops does for me is to take me into the torture chamber and give me a bath! Why would he do that? I've been grooming my doggy smell for the past week, just to be all nice and smelly for them. Sure I had some pee-paw action going on, but that's no big deal, right?

I hiew-hiewed a lot in the shower, and did my best to hide in corners and keep away from my Pops. He got annoyed at my antics, and started telling me how lucky I was to have someone pick out my dingleberries for me, when the dogs in Bali didn't get proper baths and were poor, dirty, and hungry.

Pops says that the dogs in Bali are hungry
and poor, and I should feel very lucky.

So that was that. I didn't get any presents, and I got showered. But not everything is all bad though....

At least I get to sleep on their feet again. I like snuggling up to my Humans when I sleep.

What kinda reward is this???

Last week, Pops came home all nervous and excited at the same time. He said that something unexpected happened, and that if everything goes well, he promised to buy me the biggest treat I've ever seen.

Then yesterday, he comes back and apparently things went well. But did I get a reward? NO! Instead, this becomes my reward:

What the???

I guess someone must have forgotten to tell my Pops that rewards are supposed to be things that I enjoy! And I definitely DO NOT ENJOY BATHS!!!

Hiew hiew hiew...

He wet me, he sprayed me, and he put those funny bubbles in my fur. When I came out of the Torture Chamber, I quickly jumped into my towel and tried to dry myself off.



And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, Pops blasted me with the hot air gun. I hate that thing, especially when it gets me in the face!



One good thing though, is that after this I was allowed to jump on their bed because I was nice and clean! I love burrowing in their blanket!

Okay, Pops. You're forgiven for not buying me the promised treat. But I'll expect to see it tomorrow!!!

Burrowing in my Humans' bed

I hate getting baths. It's my weekly water torture, and I hate it soooo much. But there is one good thing to come out of it, and that's being able to play on my Humans' bed after I get cleaned up!



Here I am, burrowing under the covers. Momma says I'm a rabbit-dog. That sounds a bit too much like rabid dog though... people might misunderstand and think I'm a crazed pitbull!

Flat Brutus' misadventures around our home

As you probably know, Flat Brutus has been our guest this past week. He doesn't say much, and he usually just chills out wherever we put him. He's a pretty strange dog, I must say. I mean, I haven't seen him pee much, and he doesn't go nuts over food and snackies like most dogs I know. Still, it's good to have him around cos he's just so cute!

Check out some pics of us hanging out together:

It's not that I don't want to share my milk
bone, cos Flatty doesn't want it anyway

I don't get why Flatty doesn't need to take a shower!

Chilling out with Ms Crab

If it's one thing that annoys me about Flatty, it's that my Humans seem to favor him a bit! I mean, he didn't need to take a bath. He doesn't need to get his face brushed, and tomorrow, they're thinking of taking him to the zoo! I've never been to the zoo!!! Argh!!!

Bath time for Knuckles!

If you guys can't get enough of my no-mouthed brother, here's a pic that Aunt Jol posted up the other day. It's Knuckles in his little red bath-tub. I know exactly how he feels!

Please don't bathe me!
I promise I won't eat your phone anymore!

Easy like Sunday Morning

If it's one good thing about getting humiliated in the Weekly Torture Chamber, it's being able to climb into my Humans' bed. This morning, I got to do just that!

Sunday morning with Momma and me

I don't know... something about the bed just makes it so comfortable. I'm not sure if it's the comfy smell of my Humans, or the softness of their blanket, or the fact that they like to cuddle me a lot when I'm up there, but it's like the best place in the world. Every time I'm up there, I don't really want to leave!

"What? Is it time to get out of bed already?"

A present from Uncle Eff

Recently, Uncle Eff sent a present over for Pops. It was a strange and long package, and we had no idea what it was. When they got home, my Humans started opening the package to see what it is. Of course, being the curious little dog that I am, I had to find out too!

Hmmm... what's this?

Oooh! Popping AND chewing paper!

Ripping apart the stuff around the present was really tricky cos Uncle Eff used a lot of sticky tape. It was like one of those Christmas presents, but less colorful and trickier to open. And it had some happy popping paper too! We took a while, but we got around to ripping it open and we finally found out what it was.

It's a ninja umbrella!

Uncle Eff sent Pops a new umbrella with a handle like a ninja sword. You can even sling it over your shoulder and back to wear it like a real sword. Pops tried, but his short little arms couldn't pull the umbrella out that way.

Pops once bought a ninja outfit as a costume for a video, so now he can have an umbrella to go with it! Cos you know, ninjas hate rain and water. I can understand... it's just like a bath, except for the whole world!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Wow it's been like a week since I've last put up a blog post, and it's been because it's been a crazy week over here. Well, it's kinda crazy. Anyway, it was recently Chinese New Year over here in Singapore. I could've sworn that there was another new year about two months ago, but here it comes again, apparently.

Chinese New Year is like an excuse to put up lots of red things, and go visiting all your relatives and stuff. Aunt Mainey likes the part where all the married folk have to give money in little red packets to unmarried folk, but Momma and Pops were less enthusiastic about that.

On the first day of CNY, I didn't really think it was all that special at all. My Humans sorta just left the house early in the morning, and then didn't come back till later. It was like any other day in my life, really. Although when they came back, they brought a whole bunch of relatives with them... including a couple of human puppies for me to play with! That was pretty cool, but we forgot to take photos though.

There's some good and bad news about CNY though. The bad news is that Momma thought I really needed to take a bath before all the visitors came to play with me, so yeah... I got stuck in the Torture Chamber and she soaked me as usual. You'd think that I'd get used to this after a year, but it never gets any less icky.

The good news is that I got so clean that I was allowed onto the bed!

Cuddling with Eve

This isn't the first time I was allowed onto the bed, but Momma finally let me play with her plushie Eve! I was never allowed to go near her before, but on this day I got to snuggle up with her. That was awesome!

"Hey, I wasn't doing anything..."

Anyway, there was a lot of food going around, but I didn't get to eat any of it cos I got some wet poopies again. I hate those wet poopies. They went away for a while, but came back for a couple of days during CNY.

Oh, and everyone's all saying that this year is the year of the Tiger. To that I say "who cares?" It's just a giant cat... and cats are nobody's friends.

Anyway... I can catch up with everyone's blogs again! Yay!

Random Video Moment

I went over to my iGrandmother's place yesterday and played with Aunt Jolene and Knuckles! At least, I thought it was to play... then I found out that it was a set up to trick me into getting a bath. I've never gotten a bath there before, so I was shocked when I got taken into a new place and then soaked and humiliated again.

Anyway, here are some videos of Knuckles and I fooling around.





My Humans met up with Aunt Cheryl and Aunt Gen-Gen too! They'll help my put up some pics of cousin Tails tomorrow.

First Bath of the year

Just because it's a new year, doesn't mean I don't have to go through my Weekly Torture Ritual. On the first day of the year, I saw Momma pulling out my towel from the closet. I knew what that meant, so I immediately hid behind their bed. Unfortunately, Pops spotted me and carried me into the bathroom.

It's been a whole year of this, so you'd think that I'd be used to it by now... but no, I'm not. I mean, I'm a dog! I have two ears and a nose! I don't think we are ever supposed to get used to being humiliated and soaked like this.

But oh well... at least I smell really nice now. Pops is addicted to my smell after a bath. He keeps picking me up and sticking his nose into my fur. And then I even got to spend yesterday morning in bed with my humans, just snuggling and snoozing.That was really nice!

Knuckles vs the Hairdryer

Aunt Jol has put up a funny video of Knuckles struggling against the hairdryer. There's a funny bit where he hides under the towel and all you can see is his nose hahahaha! I can understand though... I really hate that hairdryer too. It's so scary!



Oh, and I also got my Weekly Torture Ritual last night. It was quite humiliating, but at least I smell really good now!

Boring weekend!

I just had the most boring weekend... Momma and Pops were out pretty much the whole weekend, doing their Christmas shopping and going to weddings and stuff, leaving me all to myself! Even Aunt Mainey was out and about a lot, so I just spent the weekend home alone.

Home alone...

I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but isn't it weird how the days when you have the most time to blog, are also the same days that you have pretty much nothing to write about?

All I did was sit around, and wait for my humans to get back and play with me. The only highlight of my weekend was Aunt Jol visiting in the afternoon, but even then she spent the time playing videogames.



Oh wow is the weather horrible or what? I hate rain. I mean, it's water falling from the sky. It's like bath time for the whole world, and bath time is bad!

I guess I'll just go and wander around till they get back. Hiew hiew...

Boo for school

School was so boring today! Pops made me go round and round in circles endlessly, and I tell you, those sausage treats tasted bland this week. What I really wanted to do was play with Uno the Cairn Terrier, but every time I went near him Pops got mad. I can't help it if I can't pay attention in class. I'm an Attention Deficit Hyperactive Dog, after all. I don't know what it means exactly, but it excuses me from a lot of things.

Still, I did get to take a sniff around in the path near. Pops taught me a new word today: pwnage! I totally pwned a bunch of plants.

Pwned!

Pwnage!

A little bit of self-pwnage,
but I'm still awesome!

After school we went to my other grandma's place, and I got to take a long nap with Knuckles while Momma, Pops and Aunt Jol went for lunch. Knuckles is really getting better these days. He's not so crazy anymore and I can now manage half a chat with him without him jumping all over something or pouncing on me.  Then it was off to home, and I got to snuggle and nap with Momma in the car again. I like that a lot.

When we got home, Momma supervised Pops as he took me into that Bathroom Torture Chamber and soaked me in water and shampoo. Momma got fed up with Pops not doing it right though, but either way I still feel humiliated.

Right now Momma and Pops are watching some boring movie about a girl that cooks human food. *Yawn* I'm so tired... I'm going to curl up beside my crate and snooze.

My Weekly Torture Ritual

You know, humans really do the weirdest things sometimes. Sometimes I really have no idea what's going on inside their heads. Take my parents for example... they've got this weekly ritual that really bugs me. No, not those late night tussle sessions in their bed when they think I'm asleep... there's another one that's even more annoying!

Every time I see this bottle,
it's my cue to run and hide in my crate.

You see, once every week or so, my momma will drag me into this strange little torture chamber and then leash me into a handle. When I'm completely helpless, she'll start to spray me down with water and then rub some strange sticky substance into my fur. I don't know what that stuff is, but it makes my fur go all weird. And then she really works it into me, and turns me into a weird looking pig-monster thing.

I mean seriously... this is humiliating!

After messing up my fur and making me feel awkward for a while, she'll then hose me off again. Actually, that part I kind of enjoy, although it really doesn't make the whole ordeal worth it at all. When I'm completely soaked, I sometimes like to shake my fur and try to give momma a taste of her own medicine! But that doesn't usually stop her from soaking me even more, because humans are stupid and slow-learning like that.

That'll teach momma to torture me!

When she's down soaking me to the bone, she starts brushing me down and sticking this in my face that blows hot air into me. It's almost like sticking your head out the car window, except the air is hot and uncomfortable. And it usually makes me look even weirder and unattractive.

I look more like a freakin' giant rat than a dog.

Well, when it's all done, I usually feel pretty good because my fur will be nice, dry, and soft. Still, I don't really understand why they do it to me. Why wet me and then dry me? If they wanted me dry then just leave me alone, right?

My fur is so soft and clean,
the camera's auto-focus can't get a lock.

I've seen them do that wetting thing to themselves before, but don't these humans understand that it's okay for them because they don't have fur? The water slides right off them, so of course they might like the feeling. But I'm a dog! Are they so dumb that they can't tell the difference between humans and dogs?