The cats are breeding!

Last Saturday, I went out with my Humans to visit Aunt Jol, grandmother and Knuckles. Then while I was away, guess what happened?!?

A cat snuck into our garden and squeezed out a baby kitten thing! A cat spawned in my garden!!!

This would never have happened if I was at home protecting my family from evil cats. Oh no... I failed my Humans! How could I?

It's a ginger... which means it 

might be related to the Evil Cat!

Anyway, we weren't around so we didn't know what happened, but grandma and grandpa were around so they saw it. Apparently the baby kitty had a dangly thing that was caught under a garden chair, and so the momma cat couldn't carry it away. Grandma and grandpa had to look after the baby kitty for a while, by feeding it some milk, wrapping it in a blanket, and then of course, freeing it from being stuck to the chair.

The momma cat came back later and took the baby kitty away, no doubt to train it to be sneaky and conspire against dogs and humans. We should've dealt with the problem before the baby kitty could grow into a bigger problem, but my grandparents are just suckers for tiny fluffy things.

I guess I can't go away and visit people without things happening!!! Hiew hiew hiew!

Evil Cat sighting

I haven't seen the Evil Cat for a long time now. I thought that he was chased away by The Dog Knight for good, and the only cats left are his two apprentices Chairman Meow and Eek. That's okay, because Chairman Meow and Eek are only cat-puppies, and don't really pose too much of a threat to our home.

But then I saw this in our garden:

Oh no! Poor birdy!

Destruction of this magnetude magknee maggie size can only come from the original Evil Cat. I sincerely hope that the birdy-friend lost only a few feathers, and nothing more than that.

Then while investigating the feathers, I spotted the Evil Cat out of the corner of my nose. I tried to catch him, but he was too quick (and cowardly) for me.



I'll have to be really careful from now on. The return of the Evil Cat can only mean one thing: the Dobermans are plotting something again.

The Price of Freedom

I was out on patrol again the other morning, and I saw not one but two cats in my garden! There was the Evil Cat, and a new cat that I have now codenamed Chairman Meow. The forces of Evil are growing in numbers, and The Dog Knight must rise again to protect my Humans.

Chairman Meow, hiding in plain sight

As the Beagle from down the road once told me, the Price of Freedom is eternal vigilants viligi vegetables... erm, the Price of Freedom is eternal snooping around!

There's something evil in the garden

Over the weekend, Flatty didn't end up going to the zoo because no dogs were allowed. But it was a good thing that he stayed back with me, because we patrolled the garden and found some suspicious activity. Can you see what's wrong with this picture?

Click to enlarge

Still can't see it? Try clicking here to see the answer.

That's right! It was the Evil Cat's apprentice, Chairman Meow! The original Evil Cat must be hiding in its lair somewhere, and is now sending its minions to do its dirty work. It's been a while since I've had to go head-to-head with a cat, but luckily I had Flatty by my side. Chairman Meow saw how outnumbered it was, and fled!

Like I said, it was a good thing Flatty didn't go visit the zoo or I might've been in trouble!

My new neighbors

These days, it seems like there are more animal friends coming to live in my neighborhood. First of all, there's my Bat friend. I don't know what his name is, but I'm going to call him Bruce. We first noticed Bruce the Bat when my Humans were letting me out into the garden for me to shower the plants, and then Bruce and some of his friends kinda dropped from above the door and flew around. Bats scare Momma a lot!

Bruce the Bat

But Bruce seems pretty harmless. He just kinda hangs around all day. Like, really hangs around. He seems to like hanging upside down for some reason. The Beagle from down the road said that he does it because he's really small, and by hanging upside down he's helping his body to grow taller. That's such a cool trick!

I've always wanted to be a big husky like Khyra, the Army of Four or the OP Pack, so I tried that trick too. But I couldn't really hang off anything though because I don't have opposing thumbs. The best I could do was lie on my back. It didn't really help me grow any taller or bigger, but it does get me some comfy belly rubs from my Humans!

Nope... not growing any taller...

The other new neighbors are some feather puppies that have nested somewhere near my Humans' bedroom window. I can't find where they are exactly, but I can hear them chirping and singing every morning. Momma was worried that the Evil Cat might come and eat the feather puppies, but it's okay. The Dog Knight has been patrolling the house to keep those cats away! *wink wink*

I hope I can find those feather puppies soon. I think they'll look as cute as they sound. Speaking of which, both Momma and Pops have just gotten their iPhones and are now addicted to Twitter. The Twitter noise sounds just like the feather puppies!

Pops' scary new plant

Pops got himself a new plant recently... and it's scary! It's a small plant, but it's got all these scary mouths with big teeth! Pops named it Lilith, and he said that it lures smaller things like bugs in and then crushes them with its jaws. If you see the picture below, it managed to catch a cricket! Luckily the cricket escaped though...

Lilith the bug-eating plant

I'm going to stay far away from it. It's smaller than me, but I think it can still bite my paws or something if I'm not too careful. Actually, maybe it can grow bigger and then trap the Evil Cat or those nasty stalker squirrels!

PS Khyra's eldest sister Kyrye just crossed over the Rainbow Bridge recently. She was 15 and a big beautiful Siberian Husky. Do drop by and offer some kind words.

My morning routine

I have a pretty regular routine in the mornings. Every morning, I'll wake up at about 6am, and then lounge around for about 10-15 mins till I hear one of two things: my humans waking up, or that beeping thing that wakes my Momma up (but somehow only my Momma, and not my Pops). When I hear this stuff, then I'll start whining for attention (I've learnt that whining before these noises doesn't do anything).

At this point, Momma will wake up and play with me a bit, before getting ready for work. She'll take a shower, do her hair (sometimes with that scary noisy hairdryer thing) and put stuff on her face. I'll hang out in the bathroom with her for a while, and usually I'll drag my toys like GG and Miss Crab in here with me. Sometimes though, they leave their clothes on the floor and I'll snuggle into them and then have a good chew (though Momma hates it when I chew up her dresses).

Around 7-ish, I'll get a bit bored and try to wake Pops up. Pops isn't as easy to wake up as Momma, and I'll have to whine and whine and hiew-hiew for at least 20 minutes before he gets up. Sometimes, if his arms or legs dangle over the bed, I'll go and nibble those and it usually helps.



After Pops wakes up, he'll take me downstairs and out to the garden when I can check if the Evil Cat or the Squirrels are around, and then leave my Golden Offerings to keep them away. Momma then comes down for a quick breakfast, and then comes my favorite part: THE CAR RIDE! Pops drives Momma to the train station every morning, and I get to go along with them. 

I don't have any new pictures of the car ride now, but you can check some old pics here. I love getting wind in my face!

After that, I come home with my Pops and he'll get ready for class, and then when he goes off I can write my morning blog post.

And that's how I start my days. Except a couple of times a week, when my humans don't need to go to work and stuff, and then they sleep in till really late. I hate those days. I like playing in the mornings!

Pops' day at home

Yesterday was a good day. Pops had the day off, and he spent the whole day at home with me! He had some work to do, so he was using the computer a lot, but he did manage to spend some time to chill with me. That was awesome.

Me and my friends, WALL-E and EVE

We played tag around the living room, and he took some photos of me sitting on the WALL-E bench. Do you like my friends WALL-E and EVE? My humans received this bench as a wedding present from those nice folks at Disney after they took a wedding photo with a bench like this one... and now it's my turn to take a picture! The robots used to freak me out a little bit at night, but after a while you get used to them and I think they're both really cute now.

My Christmas tree!

As you can see, Grandma and Aunt Mainey have also put up the Christmas tree, and so far I've not left a Golden Offering on it yet (Momma says Santa Paws won't bring me any presents if I do). I love the Christmas tree. It's so sparkly and pretty, and so tall! It's taller than my humans!

I also got extra garden time, and I went around sniffing out the usual bad guys like the Evil Cat and those Stalker Squirrels. Luckily for them, they weren't around so I didn't have to chase any of them.

 

No squirrels? Good!

We did find something a bit nasty though... it was a dead snake being eaten up by ants! So gross! I mean, it's bad enough that we have snakes in the garden - where did it come from??? I'll have to be extra careful in the garden now... it's kinda freaky.

Nothing grosser than a dead

snake being eaten up by ants

But what's grosser is being eaten up by ants. If I had to die, I really wouldn't want an army of little bugs crawling over my body and eating me up. YUCK!

After that, I watched a DVD with my Pops (I got to snuggle on the bed!) and waited till Momma was done with work. Momma had to work late, so I managed to fit in a nap while waiting for her. My humans have been so busy this week, they haven't even watched the football games they've recorded yet!

PS Grandpa wants to sell or give the bench away, cos he thinks it's silly. Pops is trying to delay selling it... I hope he delays it forever!

Uncovering the Dobermans' secret plan

Hey guys,

I can't write long and I'll have to get this post out quickly. I'm writing this from the top secret hidden Doberman base. The Beagle from down the road and I have managed to find it, based on the information we got from the Evil Cat. I can't tell you where it is, because it's so secret that I'm not really sure where I am, but the Beagle insists that we're at the right place.



We're ducking and hiding from Doberman patrols, and right now we're at a safe spot, spying on the Dobermans. I managed to borrow my Momma's Nokia Internet Tablet. I'm not very good at typing on the mini keyboard, but the Beagle seems to be handy with a stylus.

Anyway, I'll have more news for you guys when we get out of here. I hope we can get out of here! The Dobermans are so scary!

Scaredy Cat 2

That Evil Cat is really scared of me now! The other day, I totally ambushed him and scared the furballs right out of him! He left some clues under the table, so I'm going to show it to the Beagle from down the road and we'll figure out what their plans are.

Scaredy Cat

The other day, Momma was on her way out to meet her friends so I walked her to the gate. And you know what I smelled? That Evil Cat hiding under my Pops' car, probably trying to do something bad again. The last time we crossed paths, the Evil Cat wasn't all that scared of me. But things have changed, and I am now the Dog Knight!



Immediately, I lept into action and started barking at it, with my feral superdog voice. The Evil Cat whined and gave some lame excuse that it was only napping and wasn't plotting anything evil... but you can't believe anything a cat says. All cats are liars. Any cat who says otherwise is also lying. Unless it says it's a liar, in which case it's telling the truth... but only 90% of the truth because it's in its nature to lie.

I turned up my barking strength, and chased the cat all the way to the garden before pouncing on it. With nowhere to run, the Evil Cat surrendered and begged for its life. I told him to reveal what the Dobermans are planning. He played innocent at first, and pretended not to know anything, so I barked some more and he caved in under my questioning.

Apparently, the Dobermans have been digging around the world, trying to find an ancient secret weapon. And apparently, they've narrowed down the search to my city! They're only weeks away from uncovering the secret weapon, and when they do, they will use it against every living creature in the world, and either destroy the world or just conquer it.

At that point, my Pops heard the commotion and came running after. In the distraction, the Evil Cat retreated deep into the garden where I couldn't reach him and hissed at me. What a scaredy cat! I got so angry that I used a bad word that the Beagle from down the road taught me once.



The cat got really mad that I called it a "pussy", so I was really happy about that! But then my Pops got mad that I used a bad word, so he took me inside and scolded me. I sulked after that... hiew hiew hiew!

The Dog Knight Returns!

My Pops once told me the story of a superhero who fights crime while pretending to be a bat. His name is Batman, and he is so effective in stopping crime because the idea of a super-bat scares the poop out of bad guys. I told the story to the Beagle from down the road, and apparently what humans don't know is that us dogs also had a superhero like that.

According to the Beagle from down the road, there was once a dog whose humans were robbed and murdered while taking him for a walk through a dark alley at night. He tried to fight them off, but the robbers were too strong for him. They escaped, but the dog never forgot their scent. Now that he was without any humans, he roamed the city and trained and trained to become a stronger dog by attacking random ex-Atlanta Falcons quarterbacks and postmen. He heard the story of Batman, so he proclaimed himself Batmandog.

But about twenty dog-years ago, Batmandog disappeared. The Beagle from down the road thinks that it's because he finally found the two robbers, and retired after he chewed up their faces while they slept.

The Beagle from down the road suggested that I should continue in his pawsteps, and I thought it was a great idea. Naming my alter-ego was a bit tricky though, because if a man that pretends to be a bat is called "Batman", then a dog that's pretending to be a dog that pretended to be a man pretending to a bat will be called "Batmandogdog". It's a bit too much of a mouthful, even for a bulldog, so we shortened the name to "The Dog Knight".

So that's what I'll be. I'll become the Dog Knight and protect my humans from the Evil Cat and the Dobermans. I'll start my training immediately! Bad guys beware!

The Evil Cat bugging the car

Last night, I snuck out of the house after my humans fell asleep to protect them from the Dobermans. I don't know why, but I just smelled that something was wrong and I had to check it out.

And it's a good thing I did too, because I found The Evil Cat hiding under my Pops' car! I barked at the Evil Cat, but the stupid Cat just wasn't really afraid of me, and it hissed back at me! After a bit of name-calling, I finally managed to chase the Evil Cat away from my Pops' car.

It's the Evil Cat messing with my Pops' car!

I investigated the car, and found that the Evil Cat had placed some sort of device under the car. It was either a tracking or bugging device, so it can't be good news. Not only that, but my keen sense of smell detected traces of Doberman on it. Dobermans and cats working together? What's going on? It doesn't matter though, cos all you need is a little Golden Shower to mess up any device.

My humans can sleep safely for another night, but the fight with the Evil Cat bugs me. How can I protect my humans when the forces of Evil aren't even afraid of me? I think I'll need to figure out a way to strike fear into their hearts, so that the cats and squirrels of the world (and maybe even the Dobermans) will run for their lives the moment they see me.

I'm going to talk to the Beagle from down the road about this. I'm sure he'll help me out. His humans aren't safe from the bad guys either. Nobody is safe!

The Dog Knight

Recently, Aunt Mainey went to Warner Bros Movie World in the Gold Coast, and she bought only one souvenir for us... and it was for me, because she loves me so! We just got the package last night, so Momma and Pops quickly opened it up to see what it was.



It's a little t-shirt with this logo of a bat on it. My Pops said it was the Batman logo, and Batman is this human that dresses up like a bat and then goes out and beats bad guys up. Sounds a bit weird, if you ask me, but apparently humans do that stuff.



I guess Aunt Mainey is helping me defeat the evil forces of the Evil Cat and the Stalker Squirrels. With this new outfit, I'm not just fighting them with brute force and loud barking, but also a symbol to strike fear into their hearts. Woof! Or maybe she's just saying that I have big ears... I'm not sure.

Anyway, as my first order of business, I sat down and watched Some Kind of Wonderful with Momma and Pops. The humans in this movie are dressed really funny... with big shoulders and stuff. Like football players, except without the helmet and tights.

Garden fun

Now that I'm not so young and fragile anymore, my Humans have been regularly taking me out to the garden for me to run around and leave Golden Offerings on Grandma's plants. While I'm out here, I can also sniff out the Evil Cat's pee, and then pee over it. I'm telling you, that cat sure gets around!

They let me out in the mornings before they head out to work/school, and again when they get back. And after meals too. It's a pretty good routine, and I love it!

The garden is not as big as the park that I went to the other week, but it's got that nice green grass stuff and I can run around and around without slipping and sliding. It's sweet, and it's got this nice breeze and I can stick my face out and get some wind in the face. It's not as nice as the wind I get during my car rides, but it's like a gentler, more relaxing version.



There's also a rocky path that I have to be careful while crossing... those pebbles might hurt my paw if I'm not too careful, I think. It's pretty dangerous looking, but luckily I'm a brave dog and I'm awesome enough to hop from stepping stone to stepping stone. Just to remind this pebbly path who's the boss, I pwned it with some poop.

The Evil Cat

There's a nasty cat in the neighborhood that likes to invade my garden all the time. Not only that, but he also likes to poop in the yard before running away. When my humans find the poop, they blame it on me! I try to explain that it's the cat's fault, but they don't believe me. It's not fair!

And every time I see the cat, he just chuckles like a fat jerk before hopping over the wall. I don't know how he can jump so high, but one of these days I'll get him. Oh yeah, I'll get him and rub my balls in his face. I learnt it from watching my Pops play his videogames. The Beagle from down the road says it's called "tea-bagging" and it's a way to show someone who's the Alpha. This is my home, and here I'm the Alpha!