Cousin Tails got mauled!

The other night, cousin Tails was out for a walk, when a big dog randomly jumped on him and bit a big chunk of flesh out from his little body!!! That's so scary! Why would anyone do that???

Aunt Cheryl said that Tails wasn't being a nuisance or anything. He was sniffing around with the other dog, and everything seemed fine and Tails was already walking away peacefully when all of a sudden the dog pounced on him and mauled him!

Tails is recovering after a trip to the vet. Luckily he doesn't have any broken bones or anything, but he's pretty scared of stuff now. I hope he gets better soon.

I was talking to the Beagle from down the road about this, and there can only be a few explanations for this crazy violence.

1. The big dog walked through a spiderweb and a spider went into his ear and mind-controlled him.
2. The big dog was bullied by a Maltese when he was a puppy.
3. The big dog is a sleeper agent working for the evil Dobermans.

Judging from the size of big dog puppies like Roy, I think it was very unlikely that the big dog was ever bullied by a Maltese. They were walking on the side of the road, so it's not very likely that there were any spiderwebs there either.

So it must be the Dobermans. I thought the destruction of the Doberman base ended their evil reign, but I guess they must have regrouped and are plotting against us again. I guess I'll have no choice but to put on the Dog Knight outfit again, and find out more about this Doberman Pharaoh that they brought back to life. Evil is apaw!

In the meantime, all of you smaller dogs like Twink and Tank should be extra careful! Any dog could be a Doberman agent! If you have Shih-Tzu friends, then ask them to wear goggles. I overheard the vet tell my Pops once that Shih-Tzus always end up at the vet's with a missing eye!

Spiders in the garden

I hate the rain. I hate hate hate hate hate it. When it rains, I don't get to go out for walks. When it rains, it gets so cold and yucky. And when it rains, the spiders come out to play. In case you guys don't know what a spider is, it's a creepy little thing with eight legs. Just look for the eight legs. If it's got eight legs, it's probably a spider (unlike a dog, which you can tell by the two ears and one nose).

Argh! Creepy spiders!

I don't know why it happens, but whenever it rains, all the spiders in the garden seem to spring alive and then lay their sticky webs all over the place. At the moment there are something like six of these creepy spiders with their icky webs in the garden.

It's scary, because it's a trap! Spiders trap dogs with their webs. I mean, the webs are too small and weak to catch a dog (except maybe a chihuahua), but that's not the trap. Those clever spiders build their webs where dogs walk, hoping that a dog will walk right through it and get some web in the face. And while the dog is distracted by the irritating webs, the spider will crawl into a dog's ear and then control its brain! The poor dog will then become a zombie dog, mindlessly attacking anything it sees (because spiders are angry little critters).

Those poor Pit Bull Terriers are especially vulnerable to spiders, and that's why they can suddenly go from gentle dogs to savage eating machines!

I'm going to stay out of the garden for a while... hopefully it'll stop raining soon.