Who's the cutest of them all?

Recently I started getting a bit carried away with my summoning spells, and left puddles of Golden Offerings anywhere. I just couldn't stand not having a human to play with, so every time I was left alone I would just pick a spot and pee there. My Momma and Pops were really unhappy with me, and started punishing me with cold treatments and trips to the playpen.

 Aren't I cute anymore?

What I don't get is that my usual whining and puppy dog eyes didn't seem to be able to melt their hearts and make them instantly forgive me. Instead, they just got even more upset. I started to panic a little, because I didn't know what was going on. I thought maybe some Dobermans came and brainwashed my humans! I mean, I've just gotten a haircut, so my cuteness can't be resisted (even if I did eat up Momma's dress)!

Then Aunt Jol left a comment on my blog saying that me and my ego were too big to fit into my crate. I got confused, because I thought an ego was a big green bird that plays football. I had to figure it out, so I asked the Beagle from down the road what it all meant.

Apparently this is an Eagle, not an Ego

Apparently an ego is not a big green bird that plays football after all! That's actually an eagle. An ego is something a dog gets when he thinks he's cuter than he actually is. I started arguing with the Beagle from down the road because I know I'm the cutest because that's what everyone says. My Momma, my Pops, my grandparents... all I ever hear from people is how cute I am.

Then the Beagle from down the road said something that completed turned my world upside down. According to his humans, the Beagle from down the road is the cutest dog in the world too. But there can't be more than one cutest dog, right?  We realized that all humans tell their dogs the same thing, even if it's not true. It's like everything I've been brought up to believe is all made up of bullshit!

I have to go lie down. I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Am I cute at all? Do my humans love me as much as they say they do? Are they even my real parents?